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Let's Panic About Babies!: How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain, and Finally Turn You into a Worthwhile Human Being

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BABIES. Maybe you're thinking of having one. There might even be one inside you right now, draining nutrients from your system via a tube growing from its midsection. Or maybe you've already got one around the house, somewhere, and you're responsible for its continued survival. You're saddled with a helpless being whom you've agreed to house and feed and love with all your heart for the rest of your life, more or less. Either way, you're confused, you're frightened, and 911 won't take your calls anymore. But don't despair! Let's Panic About Babies! is here to hold your hand and answer some important, age-old baby-related questions, - How can I be sure I'm pregnant? (Torso swells gradually until baby falls into underpants.)

- Did I just pee myself? (Yes.) - What happens if I have sex during my pregnancy? ( Your baby will be born with a full, lush beard. ) - How can I tell if I've chosen the wrong pediatrician? ( He/she can't pronounce "stethoscope." ) - How do I make sure my baby loves me back? ( Voodoo. ) From the moment they're created until the day they steal our cars, our babies demand center stage in our lives. So join Alice and Eden as they tell you (and your lucky partner!) exactly what to think and feel and do, from morning sickness to baby's first steps. They know everything!

272 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2011

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About the author

Alice Bradley

2 books61 followers
Hello! You can find me on my blog Finslippy (www.finslippy.com). I've also been featured in numerous anthologies, magazines and websites, including "The Best Creative Nonfiction, Vol. 2," Redbook, Nerve, The Sun, The Onion News Network, Fence, Berkeley Fiction Review, and Pank. I was nominated in 2009 and 2013 for a Pushcart Prize in nonfiction and fiction, respectively. Right now I'm editing an anthology for Creative Nonfiction and simultaneously writing a young adult novel. I live in Brooklyn, New York with my husband, son, dog, and cat.

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5 stars
143 (31%)
4 stars
123 (26%)
3 stars
102 (22%)
2 stars
58 (12%)
1 star
32 (6%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
Profile Image for Alice.
Author 2 books61 followers
March 15, 2011
I probably shouldn't rate a book that I co-wrote, so the above five stars are for the parts that Eden wrote only. Although I can't remember which those are. At any rate, they're five-star-worthy. HER parts.
Profile Image for Justyna.
148 reviews152 followers
April 23, 2016
People should know that this book is intended to be humorous and not necessarily filled with actual/useful advice. That being said, I still didn't care for it. I heard about this book after listening to an old episode of a podcast where the author was being interviewed. I liked her personality and found her to be funny, so I ordered the book. I kind of wish I hadn't. Don't get me wrong, I love a funny book. But I kind of prefer to have humor AND something informative. This had maybe 2% useful things in the entire book and that's just not enough for me--or my money.
Profile Image for Librariann.
1,484 reviews72 followers
Shelved as 'abandoned'
April 18, 2011
In its first two pages, this book elicited two lols, a chuffle, and a sustained grin.

Secret ambition: to pass this book onto Mike in hopes that he will no longer panic about babies and (maybe) decide to actually father one before my ovaries shrivel up for good.

p.s. Am I the only one who wants to type this book's title as Let's Panic! About Babies? Okay, good to know.
Profile Image for Alanna.
70 reviews9 followers
November 30, 2012
Oh my God, why does this book exist? I do not understand. Perhaps people who don't have children (or more likely people who hate children) might find this funny, but I do not see how anyone with a baby they love could get beyond one page of this book without being irrevocably offended.
Profile Image for Mary.
896 reviews48 followers
March 23, 2019
Delight. Chortling. Outloud laughing. I wish I had read this book from the moment I was pregnant, because it's in this sweet spot of 90% parody, 10% actual information. The illustrations are especially charming. My new baby-shower gift.
Profile Image for Robin.
218 reviews
July 4, 2013
This book, for me, was the perfect antidote to all the other books and websites I read while pregnant. Ironically, every time a Serious Baby Book sent me into panic about what was about to happen to me (particularly since I had a scheduled c-section and several of said Serious Books were rather intentionally frightening on the topic) I would pick up Let's Panic and feel much better.

It has also provided hours of entertainment for both my mother and mother-in-law when they come over to help with the twins. Then again, I share a fairly whacked sense of humor with both these wonderful ladies.

Certainly not for everyone (particularly if you don't like cursing or discussions of babies that involve things other than "oh they're so wonderful"), but this book really was a great fit for me. A welcome addition to my parenting library!
Profile Image for Jennifer Pratt.
24 reviews
October 13, 2012
Oh LOOK! A funny book about having a baby! Only it totally isn't It'll make you just as paranoid and hysterical about all the crap you don't know or understand as the "What To Expect When..." books will. They DO have lawyers at the publishing company after all. You CAN'T tell women that it's really probably fine to eat soft cheeses and that if they grew up with pets they're already immune to toxoplasmosis. And that if you don't breast feed your baby until it's like 13 years old it probably will totally be fine and not die of meningitis or Spanish Flu or something.
Hardy Har Har.
Profile Image for Martha Weaver.
15 reviews3 followers
October 17, 2012


Loved this book! I laughed so hard I cried. If you have had a difficult pregnancy or have felt at any point that pregnancy wasn't as beautiful and wonderful as everyone makes you feel like it should be, then this is the book for you. Also love the parts about cats and how they are out to get our baby seeing as that is what everyone keeps telling us.
Profile Image for Kathleen.
396 reviews85 followers
April 23, 2011
It was funny for about 100 pages. After that, it just seemed like the authors were trying way too hard to be quirky and funny. Maybe I would have enjoyed it more had I not read it all in one go.
Profile Image for Jen.
426 reviews2 followers
May 27, 2011
Too vulgar for me. But I think Table 16.1, "How to Fix the Dumb Stuff You Said," is hilarious.
Here's one:
What you said: "Man, I am so tired."
Quick, backpedal: "And I haven't been working a tenth as hard as you have. You're amazing, did you know that?"
What you should have said: "Those boots you liked on Zappos.com -- let's order them. No, I will. You've done enough."
Damage control: Buy the boots, then make dinner.

Another one:
What you said: "How come I don't have any clean socks?"
Quick, backpedal: " . . . is what I keep asking myself, because after all maintaining my wardrobe is my responsibility. . . I love you.
What you should have said: "Laundry time! Do you want me to hand-wash your intimates?
Damage control: Do the laundry and never say the word "socks" again in the house.
Profile Image for Allison.
211 reviews
June 10, 2011
So this book cracked me up. There are a lot of laugh out loud funny parts. For Example: "Have you encountered dampness in the pants area whenever you chuckle at a Family Circus cartoon? Good news: you're not in early labor! You're only peeing on yourself". That may be only funny to those have experienced the joy of pregnancy, but I fit those requirements. I also felt inspired to get a shirt that says "I'm not fat. I'm just pregnant". Mine should probably more appropriately say "Yes, I'm fat, but I'm also pregnant". There are some crass parts in the book, so if it's hard for you to ignore those sort of things I wouldn't recommend it. Otherwise, it's nice to read something lighthearted like this when you feel like death all the time.
Profile Image for Michelle.
811 reviews79 followers
January 5, 2013
I read this book in between the more serious baby books, and it was good to get a break! Sometimes the book felt like, Eh, stop trying so hard to be funny, but most of the time, I appreciated the humor. Because, yes, babies are miracles and they are amazing, but also, pregnancy, labor and delivery, and actual caregiving can be weird and funny. Or sometimes horrible! But you need to laugh or at least approach it all with a lighter view. And this book helps with that! Also, as sarcastic as the book was, I did actually did find a helpful hint or two, so hurray.
Profile Image for Regina.
736 reviews14 followers
August 4, 2011
There is only one word to describe this book--HILARIOUS!!!! If you don’t have a sarcastic sense of humor, don’t even bother. It will most likely offend you. However, I thought this is, hands down, THE best “baby book” I have EVER read! (And I have read more than my fair share!) I would advise every mom-to-be to read this instead of the numerous other baby books that will simply perpetuate lie after lie. I plan to pass my copy around to unsuspecting mothers everywhere!

Profile Image for Laurie.
30 reviews
August 23, 2013
For anyone who has or is reading endless pregnancy manuals, this book is a wonderful breath of fresh air! A hilarious parody of those books, this one successfully pokes fun at the craziness that can set in when you realize you're responsible for the life of a little human being. This book gave my husband and I some well-needed chuckles and was an excellent one to turn to, in snippets, as we made plans, read books, and tried to figure out what the heck we were doing. I highly recommend it!
Profile Image for Bad Penny.
65 reviews7 followers
September 28, 2013
I'd say this is more of a one-and-a-half star book. I found it totally unfunny and now I don't think I want to have a baby, because it sounds horrible. I'm sure for women who lived through all of the awful things this book talks about, it's funny to look back and laugh. For those of us who haven't yet, it sure isn't encouraging.

Edit: a lot of other people here said it's "trying too hard," and I agree. It's like Jenny Lawson wrote it or something.
Profile Image for Bree.
540 reviews
March 26, 2012
More humor than help-me. Actually nothing in this book is real so prepare to use this just to laugh. Most of it is about being pregnant so I would read this during pregnancy and not when the baby is 2 like I did. I also was looking for something a bit helpful so that is why I only liked the book.
Profile Image for Kristi.
291 reviews34 followers
January 27, 2014
This book had its moments, but overall, I just did not find it laugh out loud funny. The ludicrous, crass hyperbole about how pregnancy and babies ruin your life just got tiresome after 250+ pages. I'd rather read a book that either a) actually makes me laugh or b) encourages me that having kids is not the worst decision ever!
Profile Image for Christine.
106 reviews
September 9, 2011
The vulgarity doesn't bother me - this book is SO over the top that it lost my attention and I basically just skimmed the whole thing. I like a humorous book to break up the 'serious' pregnancy books I've been reading, but I didn't have the attention for this one. They were trying WAY too hard.
Profile Image for Sarah.
114 reviews3 followers
November 7, 2011
This book is hilarious and a nice antidote to all those serious pregnancy books that seem lecture-y. Not funny all the way through but fun to flip though when one gets tired of reading the other ones.
Profile Image for Rita Arens.
Author 13 books175 followers
March 2, 2011
HEE-LAR-EE-OUS. Old-timey pictures meet extreme dry wit. Subject: pregnancy. Fun to discuss at cocktail parties and student council meetings.
Profile Image for Miranda.
21 reviews3 followers
Want to read
April 5, 2011
I don't think I really want to read this book as it appears that it will end up telling me babies are actually good. I prefer to disregard the last part of the title.

Oh heck, I would read it.
Profile Image for Brenda.
337 reviews16 followers
May 1, 2011
Simply wonderful parody of the thousands of overly serious bppks on childbirth and early parenting. Such a tonic for those of us reading way too much about their imminent grandbabies!
Profile Image for Angella.
17 reviews9 followers
March 16, 2011
I think every Mom (or Mom-to-be) needs to read this book. Unless, of course, you hate laughing.
47 reviews
November 3, 2018
This was pretty funny. I read it cover to cover, but it may have been better just to flip to random pages. Good for a laugh and a not so rosy view of parenthood. Made me feel bad for my friends with kids.
13 reviews
January 9, 2019
I will admit this is the only pregnancy book I read while pregnant. I laughed endlessly. 4 kids later it still makes me laugh.
Profile Image for Andy Miller.
27 reviews
June 30, 2020
I agree with nothing more than this amazing work of literature! #itsmybible
Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews

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